As a 9gager, I can’t help noticing the growing numbers of posts which are related to the “forever-alone guys”. These are the males who find difficulties in approaching females, and the posts are showing either their loneliness or their confusion in trying to figure out how to attract females. Sometimes I find the posts annoyingly funny, but at the same time I can’t help feeling empathy as well. My heart goes to my fellow males who are trying to crack their brains figuring out what women find attractive in men.

Understanding Women 1

Good look? I believe some of those “forever-alone guys” have above average look, so that can’t be the one; not only that, at least. Enormous muscles, jacked biceps or/and triceps, maybe? Only a few days ago some of my female friends told me that they find a slim man more attractive than a muscular one; especially if the slim man has broad shoulders. No, definitely not muscles, then. A macho attitude, maybe? A dear female friend told me months ago that even though insecurity in men annoys her, men’s macho bullshit annoys her even more. So don’t even think of trying to adopt that attitude.

Forever Alone Stallone


What the hell do women want in men, then???

Good look certainly helps up to a degree. If you ask any woman if they enjoy looking at a good looking man, I believe none will say no. But that’s just it. Good look to look at. To live with? Another female friend once told me that men with good look tend to be selfishly into themselves, so much that they won’t have any attention left for anybody else. Ouch!


As a good looking man myself,…


As an above-average looking man myself,…


As a man whose look is not so bad myself,….


OK, as a man whose look is not so bad myself, I gotta to admit that maybe she was right. There were a few times I find myself gazing upon the mirror, admiring my own reflection. But, hey, I’m not so into myself completely. I mean, natural good look is not really something to be proud of when you’re born with it, because that’s not an achievement. Still, I can understand why she thinks that way. At least I know well enough that there is no connection between how a man looks and how he functions.

But I did say that good looks help, didn’t I? Good look can’t be totally unimportant, right? Yes, but that doesn’t mean a totally physical good look. A long time ago, I asked my crush what physical characteristics she find most attractive in men. She said, “Anytime I meet any man for the first time, I look into his eyes. One look. Just one look, and I’ll know if I’m interested or not.” She went on explaining how the eyes are the windows of the soul, and men’s eyes always show the real men behind the eyes; adding that a man who can’t sustain direct eye contact is a man not to be trusted; or at least he must be an insecure man.

We’re getting something here, guys. Eyes. Windows of the soul. Trust. Insecurity. In short, attitude.

Or, considering its importance, maybe I should write it as


just to make my point more clearly.

What’s so important about it that I have to write it that way? Well, attitude is the beginning of everything womenΒ  find attractive in men. Attitude begets self-confidence. With self-confidence, a man feels comfortable with himself. A man comfortable with himself is relaxed, even among a legion of women.

Does it mean if you believe you’re sexy, you are sexy? Well, that’s not exactly what I mean, but that may work for some. The more important thing about self-confidence is that it overcomes insecurity. A dear friend of mine told me she was fed up with insecure men, and I can understand that. I mean, if I were a woman, I wouldn’t want to have to nurture an insecure man too often; let alone spending the rest of my life being his newly found surrogate mother.

“OK, so I have my confidence now. I’ll go and conquer all women I meet”, one might say. Do that and you’ll end up another “forever-alone guy”, wondering for the rest of your life what went wrong.

I said, self-confidence, remember? That’s a very different thing from over-confidence. Try to act like a regular Don Juan, a total seducer, an obvious player, and any sane woman you meet will undoubtedly think, “How many women out there has he tried to seduce so far? Do I want to be one of them? Most certainly not.” My mother once told me that there’s nothing more obnoxious than a man who acts like a Ladykiller. And since my mother is among the few women I know who would tell me straight about it, I tend to believe that statement.

Forever Alone Bond


Most men would almost certainly ask, “But how do self-confidence help your way with women when you’re ugly?” And to that question I would reply with another question, “What is ugly?” Just because you don’t have the face of Tom Cruise doesn’t mean you’re ugly. Just because you look like Michael Fassbender doesn’t make you automatically attractive. If raw physical good look was the only thing to ensure your way among women, trust me, the world would be choked full of people with raw physical good look, because the ones not fortunate enough to have it would’ve died out centuries ago as they had no competing chance. It’s not just the raw physical look. Your fine attitude, leading to a proper-self confidence, will make you look attractive, regardless of whatever physical look you were born with. While many men would think Peter Dinklage a dwarfish freak, I believe there are many women out there who think he’s sexy. As a matter of fact, as a man, and a straight one, I find him attractive. Why? Because of his self-confidence borne out of positive attitude. Born with achondroplasia, a common form of dwarfism, Dinklage is the kind of man who know that, when people sneer at him for his look and size, it’s not his problem; it’s theirs. Now THAT, my friends, is SEXY!

I wouldn’t have to tell you that once I read somewhere that Woody Allen was included in one of the sexiest men alive, many years ago, would I? Most men, especially the insecure jocks, would be surprised to hear about it because they think Allen was not good looking according to their standards. Surprise, surprise, there is a part of the good attitude in men that women appealing, and that’s called sense of humor. My high-school crush told me that she likes a man who can make her laugh. Attitude. Again.

Sincerity is another part of attitude in men that women find appealing. Don’t act surprised when I’m telling you that most men are afraid to be close to women because women expect men to be sincere. You knew it all along, didn’t you? Among men you wouldn’t have to worry about it. Among women, knowing that women discuss things dear to them and matters close to their hearts, knowing that women expect the same intimacy from the men of their lives, you would think you’d stand a better chance of survival kicking a raging Hulk in the balls.

And there are thousand other parts of attitude you’d need to have, but I think the final one is passion. I’m talking about enthusiasm here. Enthusiasm in being what you really are, in everything you do, in everything you believe in, in everything you encounter, and in the woman you love. Don’t ask me to explain further. If you cannot figure it out yourself by now, you’ll end up another addition to the “forever-alone guys” brotherhood.

Good luck, guys. And always make sure you let your women have their own ways.














Anyway, one may ask me this question, “You talk a good game, but do you walk what you talk? Are you really at ease with women, knowing this trips & tricks? Do women find you attractive?”

To which I’d answer, “The undeniable fact is that Einstein understood and could explain to you what E=mc2 means. It doesn’t mean he could assemble a nuclear bomb, does it?”


πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

😐 😐

Forever Alone Phone

πŸ˜₯ πŸ˜₯ πŸ˜₯ πŸ˜₯ πŸ˜₯


πŸ˜₯ πŸ˜₯ πŸ˜₯ πŸ˜₯ πŸ˜₯

~ by edwinlives4ever on December 16, 2014.


  1. Brilliant post sir!

  2. There’s nothing sexier than a man vacuuming and cooking dinner with a baby on his hip.

  3. I was once told that I was “too nice” to be considered for anything more than a friend. Or that I was not bad enough. (some women love the bad boys, not the stable coll headed ones). As an ex-boxer, I knew that I could not get into fights (instant penitentiary sentence for assault with a deadly weapon) since my hands became registered weapons from the very minute I stepped into the ring.

    At the same time, My mother taught me to treat ladies with respect. And I have. being peaceable by nature, I look for the least confrontational way of solving problems. I allow the woman to have her freedom and never suspect anything until I know for a fact (This is only possible when you walk in and find them doing something they aren’t supposed to, and I have with both of my ex-wives), I have taken a lot of abuse from the hands of those who professed to love me only to have them walk away, but I am also quiet and shy. A problem I have had since childhood.

    That stems from my father’s treatment of me, but that is a story for another time. Suffice it to say, I generally attract women who are less than faithful or are too far away to do me any good at the present. I am what many women claim to want, though I am far from the most handsome or the slim jim hard body some are drawn to. I have lived a hard life, drive for a living (such as it is) and aspire to be more than I am.

    I am not all about me, though, even though this may sound like I am. When I see potential, I try to help it become reality. Perhaps I am a slave to lost causes, but I see the possibilities and try to make them happen. Perhaps that is where I fail. Not all who have potential want to live up to that potential. You can’t save everyone, especially when they do not want to be saved. I have learned both of those lessons through painful experience.

    Anyway, thanks for taking time to stop in and read my last post. I hope you come back and hang around while I paint pictures with words. At some point, I will post poetry, but right now, I am finishing a WIP and hope that it is more popular than some of my desperate and more personal posts.

  4. You are quite right. Attitude is everything. Confidence is always hot… and maybe once and a while a little bit of arrogance. But only is its warranted by above average intelligence:)

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